So it’s been a hot minute since we last spoke and a lot has happened in that time. Don’t worry though this is a completely C word free newsletter! (A rarity in this day and age!!)
Over on the ‘Gram I have been speaking about the ways in which brain fog affects me and the shame that I feel with that. Some of you might not know (or you suspect from my terrible spelling) that I am heavily dyslexic. So much so that I couldn’t read or write properly till I was 7. With that there comes a certain level of shame, having been told for many years that I wasn’t as intelligent as other kids (which is completely wrong BTW).
Having brain fog has been particularly difficult for me because it’s ability to steal the words right from your mouth, brain and even the universe is unmatched. It’s one thing to forget the odd word or thought. Its completely different when you find yourself speaking but have no idea what you just said, or you put the bleach away in the fridge because obviously that’s where it lives.
It’s different to the other symptoms in the fact that it so utterly feels like the illness taking over. It’s like sharing your body with a bratty toddler who pushes the boundaries of what you can cope with constantly.
Speaking to other sufferers is the only way I manage to cope with this. Not a single healthy person can understand what it feels like to be so utterly out of control in that moment. It can be frightening and also holds a lot of shame simply because we cannot control it or explain why it is the way it is to other people.
I don’t want to feel ashamed of this any more, it’s why I am opening up to you about it. This is and never has been my fault and nor is it yours. You do not have to feel ashamed of something you have no control over!